How to help a parent who keeps getting scam calls

Why it's hard to tell

Watching a parent receive scam calls is worrying, and it is easy to say the wrong thing. A parent who feels talked down to may stop mentioning the calls, which is the opposite of what helps.

The FTC reports that losses to business and government impostors among adults aged 60 and over have risen sharply, and that reported losses of more than 100,000 dollars increased nearly sevenfold from 2020 to 2024. The common story is that someone is using your accounts, your Social Security number is tied to a crime, or your computer has a problem. Each leads to a request to move money.

Common tricks used

• A fear story: a fraud on the account, a crime with their name on it, or a virus.
• A helpful voice that offers to protect their savings by moving money.
• An instruction to stay quiet and stay on the line.
• A caller ID that shows a bank or agency name.

How to verify, step by step

The aim is to build a few easy habits that your parent owns, rather than rules that you impose.

1. Open the topic gently. The FTC's Pass It On approach suggests starting with a short article, bookmark or video rather than a lecture. Choosing a scam your parent has not yet met, such as one in the news, makes it about the world and not about them.
2. Ask what the calls are like. Listen first. Ask what was said, and whether anything felt odd. Do not scold if they have already paid or shared something.
3. Set up blocking. The FTC says call blocking and labelling are a main defence, since scammers ignore the Do Not Call Registry. For a mobile, that means built-in blocking and a call-blocking app or provider service. For a landline, a small blocking device is the usual answer. For an internet home phone, ask the provider. Our guide to blocking spam calls and texts lists the options by phone type.
4. Agree on a three part plan. Hang up. Do not send money, codes or gift cards. Ring you or another trusted person before doing anything else. Write it on a card by the phone.
5. Write the real numbers down. Put the bank, doctor and family numbers on a sheet beside the phone, so there is no need to look for them or trust a number a caller gives.
6. Set a family safe word. It helps with the grandchild-in-trouble call in particular. See how to set a family safe word.
7. Offer to be the checker. Make it clear that no question is silly, and that ringing you at any hour is welcome. The FTC advises talking to someone you trust before acting, especially when a caller claims a crime or government involvement.

Things to watch

• A parent who becomes secretive or hides mail and statements.
• New unexplained withdrawals or cash held at home for no clear reason.
• Gift cards, cryptocurrency or a courier arriving for a package.
• Embarrassment. If something has happened, the next steps in what to do after you shared a code or gave someone access are the same whoever it happened to.

A parent who knows you will respond kindly is more likely to tell you about the next call.